Thinking in Extremes: A Guide to Overcoming Polarized Thinking
Dear readers,
Your friendly neighborhood therapist Matt here, helping you to navigate life's challenges with understanding and wisdom! Today, I want to shed light on a cognitive distortion called polarized thinking. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, cognitive distortions are ways that we distort reality in our thoughts, making it out to be worse than it needs to be or truly is. Polarized thinking limits our perspectives, causes unnecessary stress, and hinders personal growth. In this blog post, I will explain what polarized thinking is, how it affects our lives, and provide practical strategies for overcoming this common cognitive distortion. Let's dive in!
Understanding Polarized Thinking
At its core, polarized thinking is a cognitive distortion that influences how we perceive and interpret the world around us. Also known as "black-and-white thinking" or "all-or-nothing thinking," it involves seeing things in extreme, rigid categories, without recognizing or considering the nuances and shades of gray that exist.
The Effects of Polarized Thinking
Polarized thinking can have significant consequences on various aspects of our lives. By perceiving situations, people, and ourselves in extreme terms, we miss out on the complexities and subtleties that might help us to cope or that might give us the impression that things aren’t as bad as they could be. This distorted thinking pattern can lead to:
Emotional distress: Polarized thinking often triggers intense emotions such as anger, frustration, and disappointment because we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others.
Strained relationships: Viewing others as either entirely good or entirely bad can strain our relationships, as we fail to recognize the humanity and imperfections that exist within everyone.
Poor self-esteem: Similar to the previous example, thinking of ourselves as “bad” or “wrong” can have the effect of making us have a lower opinion of ourselves.
Limited problem-solving: When we engage in polarized thinking, we limit our ability to find creative and balanced solutions to the challenges we face. We tend to see only two options, overlooking the possibilities that lie between the extremes.
Self-limiting beliefs: By classifying ourselves as either successes or failures, we limit our potential and miss out on growth opportunities.
Procrastination: Often people will consider doing a future task, think about difficulties that could arise, and choose not to follow through with the task due to (an often subconscious) thought that they must either do the task perfectly or not at all. This unrealistically high expectation often causes people not to do things that could improve their lives in some way.
Overgeneralizing: Another common thought distortion, overgeneralizing, tends to have a lot in common with polarized thinking. You can tell someone is overgeneralizing when they use terms like “always” and “never” or “everyone” or “no one.” The problem with these words is that they rarely apply to reality, especially when they pertain to human behavior. However, if we believe someone “never” does something, it doesn’t matter if it is true or not. We will feel and act as if it is!
How to Overcome Polarized Thinking
Overcoming polarized thinking requires practice and self-reflection. Here are some effective strategies to help you break free from this cognitive distortion:
Mindful awareness: Practice being aware of your thoughts and notice when polarized thinking arises. Mindfulness meditation can help you observe your thinking patterns without judgment. If we experience a negative emotion, it might be useful to ask ourselves if there is any amount of polarized thinking that is fueling that emotion.
Challenge absolutes: Instead of thinking in extreme terms, explore the shades of gray and possibilities between the extremes. Ask yourself if there might be alternative explanations or perspectives.
Seek evidence: Look for evidence that contradicts your polarized thoughts. Consider alternative viewpoints and gather information to form a more balanced perspective. This will only work if you allow yourself to be open to other possibilities!
Embrace flexibility: Cultivate a flexible mindset that acknowledges and embraces the complexities of life. Practice seeing situations from multiple angles and entertaining different possibilities.
By understanding and addressing polarized thinking, you can liberate yourself from rigid and limiting perspectives. Embrace the nuances of life, challenge your black-and-white thinking, and open yourself to a world of possibilities. You CAN cultivate a more balanced and compassionate outlook!
